i was admitted to a big school, it was at 1Km away from my home, so i have to go by walk daily, as i heard from others , in this school i 'll be free whether i want to attend a class or not, or even i want to go to school or not, but reality was totally different , only few teachers were good, they always spoke softly, cool minded & supportive, but most of them was cruel, even more cruel than my old school, and the other thing i was facing was being molested by senior students, so all these things effected my studies, and my progress went poorer day by day.
with time i got used to with this system , being beaten by teachers was a routine thing, and lack of trust with parents never gave me courage to tell them what i have been facing at school or tuition, at same time i was doing really good in religious studies.
so when i passed 8th grade my father decided me to admit to a religious school , so that i can memorize our holy book (QURAAN). as our family was known as most religious among other relatives.i was not ready for this, but fear never let me say a NO against my father's decisions.
so finally i went to religious school , it was away from my home almost 15 KM, so i have to stay there all 7 days of a week only one night was allowed to be spent at home, and it was terrible experience for me, living alone away from home was not easy, food was not good , and teachers were so strict , they had different tools to beat the kids who couldn't memorize the lesson. within one week i ran from there and came back to home without my fathers knowledge,
and then a new era of anger started, my father wasn't even wanted to see my face, i kept myself hidden whenever he enters the home, and he said i will be sent back forcefully. so i threaten them that i 'll commit suicide if i was forced to go back. and then my uncle & aunty supported me and said , we will not let you go anywhere don't worry,
so the story ended here, but my father's attitude changed totally, he started to ignore me, never had words with , while before when he had been in good mood he often cracks jokes. so i started to wish for death,
yes i always prayed for death, i didn't wanted to live a life like this one. i always wept at night before sleep.
1 more year went like this, physically i was very weak though i was taking good food, but i was not growing like others kids, even my height stopped growing.
my father discussed with his friends that what i should do for his physical weakness, they suggest little freedom for me. and father said yes. and then i was allowed to go outside and play with friends. but not more than 1 hour. and i really shown a good progress in studies and also gained weight within few months, actually gained extra pounds of fat around my belly :P
it was grade 9, even though my father provided everything , but still something was wrong, i was being compared with other kids and being insulted anywhere without any valid reason. and these things driven me to anxiety.
when i reached 10th grade, i was little more confident . but still frustrated and confused. even now i was afraid of my father, but not that much, and i started to steal the money from home to fulfill my desires , like buying toys or playing video games , eating junky foods. as there were some toys that my father won't buy me, because they will effect my personality in negative way, (eg. fake gun).
i was growing up as angry man, with revenge in my mind against my family. and was wishing for death because i wanted to see my parents cry like i did in nights...
Click Here To Read Next Part
with time i got used to with this system , being beaten by teachers was a routine thing, and lack of trust with parents never gave me courage to tell them what i have been facing at school or tuition, at same time i was doing really good in religious studies.
so when i passed 8th grade my father decided me to admit to a religious school , so that i can memorize our holy book (QURAAN). as our family was known as most religious among other relatives.i was not ready for this, but fear never let me say a NO against my father's decisions.
so finally i went to religious school , it was away from my home almost 15 KM, so i have to stay there all 7 days of a week only one night was allowed to be spent at home, and it was terrible experience for me, living alone away from home was not easy, food was not good , and teachers were so strict , they had different tools to beat the kids who couldn't memorize the lesson. within one week i ran from there and came back to home without my fathers knowledge,
and then a new era of anger started, my father wasn't even wanted to see my face, i kept myself hidden whenever he enters the home, and he said i will be sent back forcefully. so i threaten them that i 'll commit suicide if i was forced to go back. and then my uncle & aunty supported me and said , we will not let you go anywhere don't worry,
so the story ended here, but my father's attitude changed totally, he started to ignore me, never had words with , while before when he had been in good mood he often cracks jokes. so i started to wish for death,
yes i always prayed for death, i didn't wanted to live a life like this one. i always wept at night before sleep.
1 more year went like this, physically i was very weak though i was taking good food, but i was not growing like others kids, even my height stopped growing.
my father discussed with his friends that what i should do for his physical weakness, they suggest little freedom for me. and father said yes. and then i was allowed to go outside and play with friends. but not more than 1 hour. and i really shown a good progress in studies and also gained weight within few months, actually gained extra pounds of fat around my belly :P
it was grade 9, even though my father provided everything , but still something was wrong, i was being compared with other kids and being insulted anywhere without any valid reason. and these things driven me to anxiety.
when i reached 10th grade, i was little more confident . but still frustrated and confused. even now i was afraid of my father, but not that much, and i started to steal the money from home to fulfill my desires , like buying toys or playing video games , eating junky foods. as there were some toys that my father won't buy me, because they will effect my personality in negative way, (eg. fake gun).
i was growing up as angry man, with revenge in my mind against my family. and was wishing for death because i wanted to see my parents cry like i did in nights...
Click Here To Read Next Part
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